Let Her Go, Let Her In
by Dead Man's Toe
Summary: Melinda May has seemed cold and unfeeling since the incident in Bahrain, but when she meets Skye, she feels her walls start to crumble and her mask begin to slip. Can Skye be the one to get through to her and become more than a friend? Eventual Mayskye. Set after 1x09 Repairs.
1. The Cockpit

**AN:** This is written for Annajadekin's prompt. I hope I do it justice.

 **Disclaimer:** I still do not own Agents of SHIELD, no matter how much I hope.

* * *

 _Let the girl go._

The words were still buzzing around in Melinda's head. They had been since the incident in Bahrain, but now they were fresh. They had taken on new meaning and a new voice. Now her voice mingled with Phil's up in her head. Both situations kept playing over again in her mind, and neither were pleasant.

Flying often took her mind off her problems, but with them so fresh in her brain, the open skies did nothing to soothe her. Even the stars' gentle twinkling that she loved so much could not distract her. The two voices in her head were too much. They were determined to drag her down into the depths of insanity.

"Let the girl go," Phil had once said, but she knew that was impossible. Nothing she could do would ever wash that blood off of her hands. There was no way that she could simply let Katya go. Her conscience would cling to that young girl forever. Her ghost would never leave.

Her throat felt heavy, as if the weight of all her guilt was sitting on it. At the wheel, her hands shook slightly. She switched to autopilot, deciding that was safer. In her current state of mind, she didn't trust herself to fly. She didn't trust herself to do a lot of things.

There was a sound at the door, like hesitant footsteps. She assumed it was Phil, coming to check on her again. The man worried too much about her for his own good, especially since it was her job to be worried about him. Fury himself had ordered it. She ignored him, waiting for him to come to her first.

"Do you mind if I sit for awhile?"

Melinda blinked in surprise upon recognizing Skye's voice. The younger women had never come to the cockpit before. She wondered what Skye could possibly want. She had no idea.

"Go ahead," Melinda replied. Her voice sounded thicker than usual. She frowned at that. She couldn't let Skye know that anything was wrong.

Skye sat in the seat next to her, curling her legs under her. Judging by the stiffness of her muscles, she was nervous about something. Perhaps it was just Melinda herself that she was afraid of. Melinda didn't really mind that. A lot of people were afraid of her since she had adopted a cold, unfeeling persona. As long as she could make others believe that she felt nothing, maybe she could make herself believe it too.

Melinda continued to watch the other woman from the corner of her eye. Slowly, she began to relax. Her muscles loosened, and she slumped forwards, her shoulders caving in. Soon enough, she almost looked as if she felt at home in Melinda's presence, which was odd. There were very few people who felt completely comfortable around her, and they had all known her since before Bahrain.

"How are you doing?" Melinda finally asked. "After today I mean."

"I'm alright," Skye answered. "I won't lie, today was really weird, even for us."

"I agree," Melinda responded softly. Even with all the horrors she had seen, she wasn't prepared for that. Maybe that was why it seemed to be affecting her more than normal. This was the first thing that had really turned her stomach since Bahrain.

Melinda and Skye fell into a comfortable silence. The other woman didn't talk too much. It was refreshing. Phil was her best friend, but he talked too much. Sometimes, she just needed the silence. Skye seemed to understand that. She just stared absently ahead, not trying to force Melinda into any unwanted conversation.

At first, Skye's intrusion had felt like an annoyance, but now it was a comfort. She hadn't had anyone who would share her silence since her mother. She even found herself hoping that the hacker would come up to the cockpit more, if only to share her silence.

Melinda glanced over at her again, taking in her troubled expression. "You did good today," she told her. She was hoping to ease the other woman's troubles, but it was the truth.

Skye looked up at her in surprise. "T-thanks," she stuttered.

The two slipped back into silence again. Melinda focused on the moon. Only a small sliver was visible, but the light it gave was still calming. She had always loved the moon, even as a kid. She had wanted to go there someday, but life had other plans.

"I'm sorry," Skye blurted out.

"What?" Melinda asked, confused.

"For today. I judged you unfairly, and I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Melinda responded honestly. She never expected anyone to see past the facade she put up, nor did she want them to. Earlier, Skye had played exactly how she wanted her to. Judging by her apology, that would no longer be the case. The thought worried her, but it also provided a welcome distraction.

Melinda stifled a yawn. The day's events had taken a toll on her body as well as her mind. Beside her, Skye yawned as well. She knew that the hacker was often more tired than she let on. There was something that kept her from sleeping at night though Melinda didn't know what. Truthfully, she had always wondered and wanted to help, but she couldn't risk showing that much compassion. The mask that she had worked so hard to build might just crumble if she did.

"You should sleep," Melinda said. "I'm sure you need it."

"So do you," Skye replied.

The corner of Melinda's mouth twitched upwards in surprise and amusement. "Fair enough," she conceded.

In this line of work, sleeping problems were common. Many agents carried hosts of ghosts and demons around with them. Melinda felt as if she only carried one ghost with her, but that ghost was the size of an army. She knew that Skye must have picked up a few of her own somewhere, maybe even before joining SHIELD.

Minutes dragged by into hours, and soon Skye was asleep in her chair. Her head leaned against her hand in a way that Melinda knew would make her wrist sore, but she couldn't bring herself to wake the other. She didn't even know if she had the energy. Her own eyes were drooping, and she had never been so grateful for auto pilot. She curled up into her seat, letting her head rest along the back. Finally, she let her eyes close and her body fall into much needed sleep.


	2. The Middle of the Night

**AN:** I promise next chapter will be longer.

* * *

May was still asleep when Skye woke. Her neck ached from the awkward angle it had been in for potentially hours. She didn't know how long. She rolled it back and forth, feeling the muscles protest the movement. She stifled a groan, not wanting to wake the other women.

The sky was still dark. Looking out the window, Skye realized that the bus was on the ground. Either the plane had landed itself, or May had woken up to land it. Either way, it was nice to not feel the vibrations.

Skye stood as quietly as possible so as not to wake May. Given just how tired her face looked, she needed the sleep, even if it was in the pilot's chair. Skye had never worried much about May before, but after the events of yesterday, she was starting to. Before, she would look at May and see only a detached, icy coldness. Now, she saw someone who was constantly hurting inside.

No matter what it took, Skye was going to help May heal. She had never before felt so driven to help somebody, but she needed to help May. There was something about the agent that reminded Skye of herself. As a kid, she had been closed off from the world, afraid of any more pain. That changed when she met Miles. He helped her, and now, she was paying it forward.

Silently, Skye crept out of the cockpit. If she was going to function tomorrow, she needed her bed. The halls were dark, but Skye knew her way around the bus well by now. Navigating the way to her bunk wasn't a problem.

As she turned a corner, she nearly ran straight into Ward. "Sorry," she apologized, taking a step back. Her voice sounded as groggy as she felt.

"What are you still doing up?" Ward asked, curiously raising an eyebrow.

"I could ask you the same," Skye deflected. For some reason, she felt embarrassed to tell her SO that she had fallen asleep in the cockpit.

"I never sleep," Ward answered straight faced. He began walking in the other direction, leaving Skye confused.

"Wait, seriously?" Skye called after him, jogging to catch up at the same time.

"Seriously," he answered with a smirk.

"No," Skye replied.

"I do sleep," Ward admitted. "But only for a few hours. You'll notice that with a lot of agents."

Skye fell into beside him. "Really?" she asked.

Ward nodded solemnly. "You see things in this job; things that you can't unsee. During the day, you can ignore them, but at night, it gets harder."

"You're saying you have nightmares?" Skye asked, concerned.

"I'm saying most field agents do," Ward replied.

Skye's thoughts wandered back to May, still asleep in the cockpit. She wondered if she had nightmares too after whatever she had seen. Given what Coulson had said, it seemed likely. Her heart ached for the other women.

"Well, speaking of sleep, I should probably get some," Skye announced, turning away from Ward. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he replied. The look he gave her told her to enjoy sleeping while she could. She shuddered a bit, wondering if she would turn into one of those agents with the cold, empty eyes, hardened by pain.

Instead of making her way to her bunk, she walked back to the cockpit. Quietly, she peeked inside. May was still peacefully asleep. Skye held back a sigh of relief as she backed away.

With drooping eyes, Skye finally found her way to her bunk. She collapsed onto her bed. Every muscle felt heavy with the need to sleep. She crawled under the covers, making herself comfortable.

As tired as she was, sleep came quickly. Her last conscious thoughts were of May, and how she vowed to help her.


	3. Meaner Than My Demons

Melinda squinted into the morning light that woke her. She blocked the sun with her hand, even though it hurt to move her arms. Everything was sore. She stretched uncomfortably and managed to stand. Somehow, she had slept for hours in that chair, and now she was paying for it. She rolled her neck, the sorest part of her body, a few times, hoping to stretch the muscles.

She probably looked like death, but she didn't care who saw her. It had been a rough night on everyone. They would understand. Except, as she thought about it, she didn't want Skye to see her for some reason. The other woman had seen too much vulnerability already, though admittedly, she had hardly seen anything. It was the idea that she might that bothered Melinda.

Pushing open the door, she stepped into the empty hallway. The bus was quiet as she made her way to a bathroom. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it for a moment. Her body begged to go back to sleep. Forcing herself to move, she turned the facet on and splashed cold water onto her face.

Feeling a little more awake, she looked into the mirror. She could see the hard lines that this job had left on her face over the years. Gently, she traced over them, wondering when she had begun to look so tired.

 _You know when,_ a nasty voice tugging from the back of her mind replied.

It was Bahrain that had taken the light from her eyes and the warmth from her smile. Bahrain was the reason for her exhaustion, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't shake that demon from her shoulder.

She exited the bathroom feeling no better. She stalked through the hallways like a ghost. No one approached her; not even Coulson. No doubt they were all scared of her when she got like this. Her face reflected the anger within, and it kept them away. She didn't mind. She needed to be left alone.

Upon entering the room with the large screen, Melinda nearly groaned. There sat Skye, looking annoyingly cheerful and awake. "Good morning, May," she greeted her.

"Good morning," Melinda grumbled back.

"We intercepted a message from Centipede. Coulson asked if I could hack into it and read it," she explained, motioning towards the numbers moving about the screen.

"Can you?" Melinda asked.

Skye gave her a disbelieving look and answered, "Of course."

Despite her black mood, Melinda chuckled slightly. Skye glanced back in surprise before quickly masking it. The other women wasn't a hardened agent yet. Her face could still be an open book. Melinda smiled with amusement before catching herself. She frowned quickly, hoping Skye hadn't seen.

Within a few minutes, the numbers turned into letters. They were randomly placed, spelling nothing recognizable. "And we have another code," Skye announced sarcastically. "Yay."

This time, Melinda was powerless to stop the warm laugh that escaped her, causing Skye to join in. With her bad mood gone, she let herself smile. After all, it was just a smile. It wouldn't bring the walls she had built up crashing down.

"Give me a few minutes, and I'll have this decoded," Skye added, typing in things Melinda knew nothing about. Hacking was Skye's world, and though she would never admit it, Melinda admired her computer skills.

"May, can you meet me in the lab?" Coulson's voice rang in her ears.

"On my way," Melinda responded. Turning the earpiece off, she addressed Skye. "I'm headed down to the lab. Good luck here."

"Luck has nothing to do with it," Skye responded as she left.

Melinda chuckled one more time before putting her scowl back in place, but her heart just wasn't in it. Skye had made her feel warm, and it scared her. If she opened herself up to that, she would feel everything that she had been trying to shut out over the past few years. Letting the good in wouldn't help; it would only get drowned out by the pain she had been blocking out since Bahrain.

Being cold and occasionally mean was how Melinda survived. If she let all those feelings in, she would eventually go mad. Still, being with Skye, she wanted to let herself open up again. She wanted to be like her.

Angrily, she shoved those thoughts away. She could never go back to how she was. Her mood had turned sour again by the time she pushed open the lab doors. "What is it?" she snapped.

To his credit, Coulson didn't flinch. "How quickly can you get us to the hub?" he asked, not looking up from his work at the microscope.

"A few hours," Melinda responded. "You couldn't have asked that over the intercom?"

Coulson turned to face her, looking at her in concern. "I also wanted to ask if you were okay."

Melinda's face softened. "I'm fine," she replied.

"I know last night may have brought up some painful memories," he continued.

"I'm fine," Melinda repeated forcefully. "If that's all, I will go ahead and get us into the air."

Coulson nodded, still watching her with worry. She stalked out, scowling at the ground. Today was going to be a long day.


	4. Bruised Ribs

Skye was pretty sure her ribs were bruised after training with Ward all afternoon. It hurt to breath, but she didn't let that stop her. She walked through the hallways of the plane, searching for Coulson. The plane had landed about an hour ago, and her curiosity had gone into overdrive.

She walked into the lab, expecting to see FitzSimmons, but was surprised to instead see May scowling at a computer screen. Her eyes were hardened angrily, as if a black cloud hung over her head. A few days ago, Skye would have backed away quickly, but now she knew she had nothing to fear from the other agent.

"Do you know where Coulson is?" she asked cheerily.

"Inside the Hub, delivering paperwork and leaving me to finish the electronic paperwork," May answered, glaring at the screen.

"Ah, ok," Skye answered. Suddenly, she broke out into a coughing fit, causing a sharp pain to shoot through her ribs. She winced as she pressed the palm of her hand to them.

"Are you okay?" May asked, the hostility gone from her voice.

"Just sore," Skye answered.

"Come here," May ordered, standing.

Hesitantly, Skye stepped towards the other agent. Her face was unreadable as always, but now it scared Skye slightly. The whole scene felt too familiar, reminding her of a foster home she'd rather forget.

"Sit," May said, pointing to the table. "Let me take a look at that."

Barely suppressing a relieved sigh, Skye hopped up onto the table. The metal was cold underneath her palms, causing her to shiver slightly. May approached her slowly as if she was unsure of herself. Her fingers hooked under Skye's shirt, and she lifted it gently to reveal the bruised skin.

With her other hand, May barely pressed her fingertips against the bruise. Skye shivered again, feeling goosebumps form on her arms. "We have something for that," May mumbled, not tearing her eyes away from Skye's skin.

Skye squirmed uncomfortably under the intensity of May's gaze. "We do?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

"Let me get it," May replied, letting Skye's shirt fall back over her skin. As the other agent walked away, Skye pressed her fingers against the skin May had touched. It burned, but not in an uncomfortable way. She wanted more, she realized with surprise.

May returned with an ointment she had fetched from a cabinet. She uncapped it and squeezed the white cream out into her hand. She moved Skye's shirt again, this time with less hesitation. Firmly, she pressed her hand to the bruise. The cream was cold against Skye's warmed skin. With a gentleness Skye hadn't known May could manage, she began to rub the cream into Skye's bruise.

The slow movements of May's hand against Skye's ribs caused a warmth to spread through her entire body. Skye held her breath, focusing on the feeling of May's fingertips moving in circles. Too soon, May pulled away, leaving only a burning trail behind. Skye blushed, shifting uncomfortable. "Thanks," she murmured.

"You're welcome," May whispered. Her eyes were glued to the floor, looking equally uncomfortable. "I should get back to the paperwork."

Skye nodded in response. A lump had formed in her throat, keeping her from speaking. May backed away awkwardly, returning to the computer. Without another word, Skye stood and left the room as quickly as she could.

As she walked, she didn't know where she was going; just that she had to clear her mind. She placed her fingers on her neck, finding her racing pulse. What was happening to her?


	5. Working Together

With her hands still burning from the feeling of Skye's skin, Melinda clenched her fists tightly. Anything that she might be feeling for the other agent, she couldn't. Deep down, she knew she didn't deserve it, so she let her nails dig into her palms, hoping to push the desire from them.

As she stood in front of Phil's desk, she kept her face blank, showing nothing of the internal war she faced. It was hard to focus on his words. Her mind was still back with Skye. For some reason, she had captured Melinda's attention and refused to let it go.

"Anyways, I have a special assignment for you," Phil said, as casual as ever.

"What kind of assignment?" Melinda asked curiously.

"A two-man infiltration team. We may have a lead on one of Centipede's bases," he replied.

"I'm in," Melinda responded without hesitation.

Phil smiled slightly, though his eyes still watched her with caution. Melinda tilted her head as she continued to listen, nervous about what was coming.

"I need you and Skye to go in and hack their computer."

Melinda opened her mouth, but it took a few seconds for words to come out. "You want to send Skye into the field? She isn't trained."

"Which is why you'll be accompanying her," Phil responded.

Melinda shook her head in shock. "You can't be serious, Phil."

"I am," he answered. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't know it was safe."

Melinda sighed, knowing she couldn't argue. Besides, she trusted her best friend. "Alright. Shall I inform her?"

"Please," he responded. "Tell her you'll be leaving tomorrow."

Without another word, Melinda turned and left. As she walked, she tried to match her heartbeat with her footsteps. The thought of taking Skye into the field filled her with fear. After Bahrain, Melinda doubted her ability to protect anyone. She focused on the echo of her feet, trying to drown everything else out. Fear would only get Skye killed.

To Melinda's surprise, she found Skye alone in the training room, bruising her fists against the sandbag with the force of her punches. Even Melinda could see the purple forming across her knuckles. She crept silently behind the other agent, watching in concern.

Gently, she reached out her hand and closed her fingers around Skye's arm. She cried out and jumped backwards, ripping her arm away from Melinda. Before she could catch her, Skye had whirled around and fallen backwards into the sandbag. The loud thuds echoed through the room as she hit the floor.

Within a second, Melinda was crouched down next to her, helping her up into a sitting position away from the hanging sandbag. "I didn't mean to startle you," she said guiltily.

"That's alright," Skye replied as she winced and rubbed the back of her head. "It happens a lot."

Melinda extended her hand to the other agent and helped her stand. "I came here to talk to you," she stated awkwardly, watching Skye carefully for any signs of pain.

Skye seemed to be incredibly resilient, which was a good quality for an agent to have. She had stood easily, and if her body hurt, she did not give it away. "What's up?" she asked.

"Coulson has a mission for us," Melinda informed her.

"For us?" Skye asked, narrowing her eyes and wrinkling her eye brows. "What is it?"

"An infiltration mission. Apparently, he needs a hacker on sight."

A flicker of nervousness crossed Skye's eyes, but it was gone after a second. "Alright," she agreed.

Melinda tilted her head slightly as she observed her. "You seem pretty calm about this."

"If AC seems to think it's alright, I'm sure it is. Besides, I've seen you absolutely destroy a guy. I'm pretty sure I'll be safe if I stick with you."

Melinda grinned. "Don't worry. I'll get you in and out safely."

 _Don't worry, honey. I'll get you out of this._

Melinda swallowed hard, hoping to swallow the memory. This wasn't going to be Bahrain. She would never let that happen again.


	6. Centipede's Base

AN: Sorry for the long hiatus. I should be back to writing again.

* * *

Skye had hardly slept the previous night. Her stomach was a jittery mess of nerves. The plane was still, and for once, she missed feeling the vibrations under her feet.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember herself in a pink dress at a party she had hacked her way into. Courage began to return to her as she remembered the way she had manipulated Ian and escaped through the window.

Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes again. She could do this.

At the sound of quiet footsteps behind her, Skye smiled. "Good morning, May," she greeted.

"Are you ready?" the other agent asked with a hint of concern.

Skye turned around to face May. She wasn't sure what they were. Partners? Friends? It didn't matter, Skye supposed. She felt safer in the other woman's presence, and for now that was all she needed to know. "Did AC tell you what exactly we're doing?"

May grinned slightly at the nickname Skye had given Coulson. "It's supposed to be a deserted Centipede base. According to Coulson, no one's been in or out in years, but he has reason to suspect some of their equipment may be left behind."

"Why would they leave anything behind?" Skye asked.

"That's the fun part," May replied. "The base was buried by a rockfall."

"Then how are we supposed to get into it?" Skye asked incredulously.

"The SHIELD team that discovered it cleared the boulders away," May explained. "There's no threat of the building caving in. However, there's no signal inside."

Skye nodded in acceptance. "And there's no way of knowing if Centipede knows we've discovered it."

"Exactly," May replied.

"If that's the case, why not send in the whole team?" Skye asked.

"According to Coulson, we can't go through the front door because we'll set off an alarm."

"The Centipede will really know we're there," Skye muttered.

May nodded. "However, the rockfall created an opening in the back of the building. However, it's not large. If we need to escape, we'll have an easier time with just the two of us. That's also the reason we're not wearing SHIELD uniforms."

Skye tried not to let her fear show at the words "if we need to escape." She had already made her choice. She wanted to be with SHIELD, no matter where that took her.

The door to the outside opened, revealing a very old building sitting amid a pile of rubble. Skye followed May outside and around to the back of the building. Just as Coulson had said, there was a hole in the wall, barely big enough for a person to squeeze through. May went in first, effortlessly sliding her feet through the opening and landing safely below.

"It's clear," May called up to Skye.

Skye crouched down next to the opening and peered in. The ground didn't appear to be too far down, but it was dark. Nervously, she sat and put her feet through the opening. She grabbed the metal wall with her hands and shifted her body forwards until her knees were able to bend and her feet touched the floor. She pulled her arms through and stood next to May. "Where now?" she asked softly.

"Follow me," May replied. "Coulson showed me the map."

The two agents crept down the halls of the abandoned base as quietly as they could. Skye felt a shiver run up her spine as she looked out into the empty darkness. Something about the place felt off, but Skye assured herself that it was simply because she had seen too many horror movies.

"In here," May instructed, stepping into a room. As Skye entered, she stared in amazement at the ruins of the base. A thick layer of dust lay across the tables and computer monitors, and wires littered the floor. She walked further inside, searching for the computer. She found it against the wall, covered in dust like the rest of the room.

"This is it," Skye announced as she crossed the room and pressed the power button. Instantly, the monitors came to life, giving the room an ominous glow.

"Amazing," May exhaled.

"I can't believe it still works," Skye responded as she sat in front of a monitor. She plugged the flash drive Coulson had given her into the computer and began typing code on the rickety keyboard. Some of the keys stuck, but after a few minutes, Skye had accessed and downloaded all she needed.

A sudden sound made both agents in the room freeze. It sounded as if a door had been thrust open or slammed shut, and if that were true, they weren't alone. Skye met May's eyes with panic, startled to find her own fear mirrored back.

May pulled out her gun and signaled for Skye to follow her. After pocketing the drive, she tiptoed behind the older agent, trying to make as little sound as possible. May checked the corridor before exiting, and Skye followed closely behind her.

In the open hallway, it was easier to hear footsteps echoing throughout the base. From the sound of it, there were a lot of people there, most likely Centipede operatives.

May suddenly froze and held one arm in front of Skye while the other pointed her weapon in front of her. A man rounded the corner, wearing a Centipede uniform. He looked up at them in surprise. "Who are you?" he asked.

"Hallway patrol," May answered calmly. "Searching for any lingering SHIELD agents."

The other man laughed incredulously. "We just got here a minute ago, and the boss has already assigned a hallway patrol? Paranoid bugger."

May grinned. "You know how he can be."

The Centipede man squinted suspiciously. "The boss is a she."

Apparently deciding she was out of options, May shot the man with an icer, much to Skye's disbelief. She grabbed the younger agent's hand and pulled her into a sprint towards the breach they had entered the base from.


End file.
